Codependency and self-help -- brought to us by Charlyn C.

This week's post is brought to us by Charlyn C. She has put together an excellent book review for the book Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie. Charlyn writes,

I began counseling in December 2009 to deal with issues I was struggling with. After a few sessions, my counselor asked me to get this book. I started reading it in February and have been reading ever since. Now I’m not that slow of a reader, but I have been reading, rereading, doing the assignments, rereading sections, and pondering and praying since then. I have used this as a “textbook,” and I feel like I am in class with focused studying and assignments each step of the way. A lot of the information I have learned or heard before, but because I am in a different stage of life, I am looking at it, hearing it, and internalizing it differently. Some of the information is new to me and is helping me look at things in a new way.

I started my reading at the Preface and Introduction -- even there I was learning. One of the biggest things I learned is that even though I grew up in an LDS family where alcohol was not present, I grew up with the same dynamics and dysfunction that adult children of alcoholics do. Who knew I was from an alcoholic family where not a drop of alcohol was consumed? It gave me so much clarity and understanding. The reading stirred up a lot of emotions -- sometimes I could only read for a short time, become overwhelmed, cry, have to take a break, then start again. Sometimes even days later. I also have been doing assignments from my counselor that are specific to me but go along with the book, so it has been hard work, but a wonderful revelation for me.


In John 8:32, it says, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Then in Ether 12:27 it says, "And if men [Charlyn] come unto me I will SHOW UNTO THEM their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." This is made even more powerful by the words in verse 37 of Ether 12: "and because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be made strong."

These scriptures give marvelous promises of being free from, for me, incorrect values and views. And that if I am willing to look, Heavenly Father will show me my weaknesses, the things that I need to know and change. If I choose to have faith, I can instead be healed and become strong in these areas of my life. I am grateful for the windows of understanding that this book has opened in my life. I know I have been given this book at this time for my good. I am grateful because I have been so blessed.

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Thank you so much to Charlyn for sharing these personal and insightful comments. Mental and emotional health is so important and this is just one book that may open doors to better understanding. (We could go months learning about this!) Bottom line? If you are struggling, you do NOT have to go it alone. Seek the help you need, whether through resources like this one, through priesthood and Relief Society channels in the Church, professional counseling, or otherwise. For a little additional reading, check out the website for LDS Family Services. They offer professional counseling, and their website has an excellent collection of articles related to a wide range of topics for emotional and interpersonal well-being. As they state on their website,

No one is immune from challenges in this life. When social or emotional challenges arise, help is available.

Let the Spirit guide, trust in the Lord, and get the help you need! Thanks again, Charlyn.